FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD

Your man on the scene -- me, Billy Clyde -- erred in his thinking yesterday. It looks like Austin-area restaurants will be closed for another day.

Those of you who know me personally understand that I'm kinda a Mountain Man, a rugged individualist who's one with nature. But dammit, I like going to lunch! It's the high point of my day (hush: no more "loser" jokes) and not only permits me to converse with good friends and neighbors but also offers food-eating opportunities, which have been rare lately. Best I can tell, there currently is zero food in Austin. That's not good.

BC did some serious grazing last night at the Frozen Inaugural of 2007. Not because he's a big fan of Sterno-heated reception food, but because he was becoming very hungry. In hindsight, BC should have eaten even more. The people in charge of obtaining and serving food should get to work at once; this deal is reaching critical mass.

The room service people at the Four Seasons were providing food -- I am NOT making this up -- last night on a "need-to-eat basis." Did I somehow move to Ethiopia on accident? We're big fat Texans. We need sustenance!

On a slightly related note, do you remember when the Bush Inaugural Committee had a Young Professional gala over at the Austin Music Hall? Robert Earl Keen played. All us young professionals danced and sang real loudly and generally had a heckuva good time proving that we had memorized Robert Earl Keen lyrics and were competent in the Two-Step form of dance. Well, last night was NOTHING like that.

Have you ever been to a Century 21 Convention? No? Well, me neither. But I figure it's pretty similar to last night's Inaugural Ball. If you're into middle-aged overweight white people in poorly-fitting rental clothes, the Austin Convention Center was your nirvana. If not, you were better off staying at home and worrying about food.

Let me put it this way: the honoree, Governor James Richard "Rick" Perry, was the coolest guy there. By a long way. BC bets you get the point.

Texans climbed out of our caves and joined the modern world and became all sophisticated and worldly in 1991, when wealthy white women finally achieved governmental parity with wealthy white men and Ann Richards got sworn in. She had Lilly Tomlin and Dolly Parton warm up the crowd, and that was entertaining. Perry had some guy named Ed from Corsicana do the honors. Folks, we are regressing as a civilization.

When Briscoe and Clements and White and Clements and Richards and Bush got inaugurated, it was fairly pricey. But they served food, which I didn't appreciate at the time but on reflection seems like a very humanitarian thing to do. I wish Perry would have charged more.

In closing: If you are a person, and you know of a restaurant that is open, or in the alternative if you own food ... please call me. I'll buy or reimburse you or whatever.