Sunday, December 31, 2006

YOU GAVE O.J. A BOOK DEAL BUT SNUBBED ME?!?

My editor, Judith Regan, phoned to say that I'm in technical violation of my contract. My pop culture-to-politics ratio is heavily titled toward the pop culture side of the equation. Plus, she informs me that I am boring.
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Bitch!
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I would gladly post more stuff about politics, except that I don't know much about it. Not that I know much about pop culture either, although I do know that the talentless skanks in Hollywood who for some reason receive star treatment these days don't wear undergarments. That's a fact. And not a bad thing.
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What little I do understand about popular culture is gleaned from reading the LifeStyle section of the newspaper, which today contained a piece about Good Books From 2006. Normally I wouldn't read such nonsense, but one tidbit was written by Karen Olsson, who wrote this year's delightful Austin-based book "Waterloo." It was the best book since Billy Lee Brammer's "The Gay Place" and turned out to be even better than Kinky Friedman's new tome on pigs.
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Billy Clyde has to tread rather gently here, because the Court Order is fairly strict. Suffice to say that Texas' absurdly Draconian stalking law makes it difficult for me to express my undying love for Karen, the most hottest, most smoking babe on the planet. When I fell this way for Madeline Stowe, Andie McDowell and Julianne Moore, I ended up spending 19 days in jail. So I try to be careful these days.
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In a rather strange twist, Govenor Rick Perry (see Judith, I'm talking politics, you hobag) gave state employees the day off on Tuesday on account that Gerald Ford died. Not sure I see the linkage, but hooey for you state employees out there. Wasn't like we had any meetings or conference calls scheduled with you dedicated worker-bees on Tuesday anyway.
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Please be safe out there tonight. Do not drive while under the influence, and remain at least 500 feet away from any person who has an active restraining order against you. It's just plain common sense.

7 comments:

jobsanger said...

Happy New Year, Billy Clyde.

I love your blog!

texxasredd said...

You think, maybe if you went around without any drawers on you could rival Ms. Kput's celebrity skankQ, too?

Joe Ed said...

Damn son, if you're gonna mention a hot babe, you could at least put a link to a picture. If I want to search I'd rather be out lookin' for my next ex-wife.

Anonymous said...

State Employees are at work! Just the lucky ducks at DPS and the TABC probably got off work....but, if we had scheduled appointments/work- we worked.

Bah humbug.

Love the blog.

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