Friday, December 22, 2006

PLESE LEAVE BILLY CLYDE ALONE ON THE SIDEWALK

Rarely a day goes by when I'm not accosted on the street by a Capitol operative and asked something along the lines of: "Billy Clyde, you handsome devil, what does this upcoming legislative session portend in a macro sense?" To which I generally answer: "Who are you?"
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When accosted by hobos, I generally offer a dollar.
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But as warm personal friends (once again, Who are you?) and elite contributors to my site, you deserve at least a smidgen of an answer. And in keeping with the Christmas spirit of sharing, you punks have found your lucky day.
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First, let's remember the basics: the previous biennium's non-dedicated all funds actual appropriations are measured against a yet-to-be-determined LBB-established personal income growth matrix to establish the Constitutional spending limit. Second, absent affirmative action by the LBB or a vote in both chambers, the limit is inviolate even if available revenue exceeds that amount or if previously enacted statutes dedicate, reappropriate or otherwise obligate, by general law, amounts exceeding the cap. Third, ...
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Oh hell, who am I kidding? And who cares? Here's the real deal:
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1) Casino gambling will fail.
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2) Titty bars won't be shut down.
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3) Toll road building will continue, but lawmakers will go on record as being real sorry about it.
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4) No money for new prisons.
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5) Teachers will get a small pay raise, IF they don't bitch too much.
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6) Something really big will happen in higher ed. And by "big," I mean maybe a Blue Ribbon Interim Top-Notch Super-Jiffy Select Public/Private Study Commission. (Commissions are much more influential than mere committees.)
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7) There will be money appropriated for certain health and human service programs that allegedly help poor and old folks.
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8) Garnet Coleman will whine some; Elliot Shapleigh will whine some, too.
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9) Fred Hill and Dan Patrick will not eat together at the Carnegie Deli.
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10) Legal Mexican-American Texans will assault Leo Berman, and he will wear it as a badge of honor. Voters in Smith County will vote him out of office, and he will wear that, too, as a badge of honor. Freakin' Tyler liberal Republican primary voters! What do they know?
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Billy Clyde is a generous soul, but he can't give much more away. Consider becoming a Platinum Member to get the good stuff.
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5 comments:

Don said...

Thank you 1,000 times for this wonderful blog. It's one of 2 I've actually bookmarked. That means I'll read it.

I hope it won't decrease your attention to my other favorite blog, as that would diminish my enjoyment somewhat. Your snarky comments express my own thoughts, had I the wit to express them.

Good show!

DCat the Bureaucrat said...

Uh, my mask slipped.

That was me. I'm commenting from heavan now, as I've been swept up by the Rapture, which seems to have been strangely overlooked in Texas.

DCat the Bureaucrat
Your Personal Public Servant©

Winston Smith said...

3:35 a.m.! WTF!

Billy Clyde said...

Dear Don (may I call you "Don"?):

You are a wise, wise soul. A true Renaissance Man. Please spread the word to the unwashed masses.

Dear DCat:

Please don't screw up my page like you do the Pink Lady's. I am technologically fragile as it is.

Dear Mister Smith:

Your point??

Anonymous said...

Blizzard warnings were issued to go to parts of Illinois, Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota and Wisconsin as snow socked the states in tandem with off the wind fart hear of gusts topping 45 miles (72 kilometers) per hour.
The storm -- 10 days anterior to the hit of winter -- took its greatest chiming in Minnesota, where as much as two feet (61 centimeters) of snow had fallen in some locations, according to the Country-wide Ill Secondment (NWS).
The state's largest city Minneapolis was directed a blanket of bloodless 17 inches (43 cm) broad, the worst snowfall to bat the urban district in more than 19 years and the fifth-biggest on record.
As an with of the storm's severity, Minneapolis-St. Paul Universal Airport -- a traversing hub with expertness in contending with foetid rise above -- was keep quiet down for the purpose the gold medal one day in years.