MR. SPEAKER, I'D MOVE TO RECONSIDER AND TABLE

As much as I enjoyed this week, it seems as though my friends at MI5 want Billy Clyde to break his stride and go over to Iran and rescue those captured British soldiers, whom I didn’t even know had been captured until this afternoon.

How come they don’t add a little WORLD news to the meeting posting boards down in the Extension? TLS runs press releases about the price of West Texas Intermediate Crude and the World Viagra Appreciation Day/Astroglide Awareness Week Breakfast, but if you want to know about the Iranian Hostage Crises II (in theaters now!) you have to go to the Drudge Report.

But in all seriousness, y’all got to be quiet about my MI5 mission. Don’t want to lose the element of surprise.

Speaking of surprises, how many of you really, super-duper attentive Capitol cats and dogs knew that the Texas Enterprise Fund is statutorily funded by unemployment taxes? Billy Clyde nods off now and then, but this was a shocker to me. I had always figured that Governor Perry threw a kegger one afternoon on the Mansion lawn and the House and Senate decided to just appropriate him a bunch of money to hold even more keggers on the Mansion lawn. But BC was incorrect.

That’s how yesterday’s House debate begin, in a way. The House had adopted a Calendars Rule, like it always does, that says: If you wanna spend a buck, you gotta cut a buck. And not just any buck – a non-dedicated buck, apparently. Although something like 90 percent of the General Appropriations Act, if you want to be a smart-aleck, is basically dedicated to some degree.

Everyone always fairly well assumed that Fund 6 money and the PUF were off limits. Though stealing a typewriter from the Court Reporters Inspectors Council and giving it to your local barber was fine and dandy.

How are supposed to know something is dedicated? Just because you VOTED for it last session? That seems harsh.

If BC were a House Member – not an International Man of Mystery out to save some brown-toothed Brits whose poor sailing skills could lead to another 20 years of the next Ted Koppel (oh, the horror!) – he would have funded his budget amendment out of the Enterprise Fund. The only fruit lower hanging than THAT is the carrot, which actually may be a vegetable.

Turns out you can’t do it. So a startling number of amendments – maybe 20 – out of about 300 couldn’t even be offered. Democracy was lost. But just for a moment. The pragmatic side of the Members heads’ woke up and thought: Damn, with 280 amendments left, SOMETHING is still germane.

So they had some debate about public policy stuff and issues and causes, etc. With this big mission to the Persian Gulf on his mind, Billy Clyde had zero time to begin learning new wonkish acronyms that he would never use – or even remember. Instead, I became my usual Big (Motion) Picture Man.

So without getting into other the substantive (a.k.a. boring) stuff, Billy Clyde would like to roll out the red carpet for my Scattery Awards.

BEST DIRECTORS: Warren Chisum and Ryan Guillen
In a way it makes sense. If I kidnapped, drugged you and left you in a vacant pasture in either Roberts or Duval counties (and as a skilled MI5 Secret Agent, I could do it in my sleep), Billy would swear you couldn’t tell which was which. Except in winter.

You two turned what could have been Broke Back Mountain into The Sound of Music (without the Nazis).

BEST LEADING ACTRESS: Lois Kolkhorst
Some people could argue that she had one poor take, which I suspect she considers kinda her gratuitous nude scene. She possesses a calm, deep understanding of her character and just oozes empathy. Though she can be a bit hyperactive in real life.

BEST LEADING MAN: Dan Gattis
Most of the critics pick Carl Isett, who gave a soothing performance. But Gattis – who unlike Critic Billy Clyde is real bright, real prepared and real tall – did his during the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. For Gattis, it was a “the show must go on” moment.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: DAWNNA DUKES
First, how does anyone look that good at 3:00 a.m. in the morning? There’s not a wrinkle in her face, a hair out of place, and her $1,000 suit looks freshly pressed. Plus, when she gets to the front mic, without a single note, and tells the House: “If we take $86.3 million out of non-discretionary URGL funds and re-dedicate it an already fully funded Section 9 PELAP strategy that’s inconsistent with the federal GMR Act” ... well, it’s just beautiful cinematic prose.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Jose Menendez
Passionate performance, but occasionally too long winded. You have to acknowledge that he is so smart and sincere he can use his honest, but clever, spin to take audiences places they normally wouldn’t want to go. Critics sided with John Davis, which means he’ll win it next time (and justly so).

BEST CAMEO: Rick Noriega
Bet the critics are sorry now that they didn’t award him the top prize last year for the DocuDrama: “Afghan Freedom Fighter; Houston Electric Lobbyist.”

WORST ACTRESS: Linda Harper-Brown
She nominated herself for Best Actress, then voted against herself. Does she slap herself in the face and say, “Does that hurt?” Representative Harper-Brown may have a promising career as an investment banker or toll booth attendant. Though she’ll never Dance With The Stars.

WORST ACTOR: Sid Miller
Been trained by the best thespians, lesbians and equestriennes, and the verdict is in: He’s made for TV, not the silver screen.

Of course, the real awards come when meaningful stuff – the kind of film you can’t cut on the editing room floor – comes down. Look for Puente, Turner of Harris, Keffer and Rose to be fan favorites.

Before I go to Iran in a few minutes, it’s also worth noting that insiders looking for the next new breakthrough artist at The Mouse (industry lingo for Walt Disney Columbia ABC Viacom AOL Dreamworks Miramax) is Joe Straus.

WILL HISTORY SHOW THAT GARY ELKINS AND BILLY CLYDE ARE THE TRUE FOUNDING FATHERS?

Wednesday’s floor debate will represent the biggest Constitutional shift in executive vs. legislative powers since four-year terms were established 35 years ago.

People, HJR 59 (http://www.telicon.com/htbin/web_dtext.com?TX80RHJR0059.FIL) is serious stuff. If you threw pre-teen slut medicine, sexy cheerleading, strip-bar taxes and selling the lottery to cure cancer all in a blender, you’d create a potion far milder than the tonic that Billy Clyde’s friend Representative Gary Elkins is proposing – and presumably will send to the voters.

For the handful of Hot Tub readers who have been living on Neptune ... the proposed Constitutional Amendment would allow the Legislature to call its own self into special session for 72 hours for what amounts to a veto-override session. If the Honorable John T. Montford thought the Sunset Review process was “pet food for lobbyists,” HJR 59 must be considered a three-day Lexus session for paid advocates. Not to mention a big giant-ass slap at the Governor.

The only time Billy Clyde recalls a veto override attempt was in the late eighties on a school finance deal. The House Research Organization, which produces better historical data than BC’s faulty brain, says it hasn’t happened since 1979. Whatever. It not exactly like getting your truck washed or grabbing a Big Gulp. I place it in the “big deal” category.

Your main man Billy Clyde is interested in this measure on a number of levels. He considers himself somewhat of a Constitutional Scholar and semi-expert on separation-of-powers issues. He’s also sneaked a number of really crappy bills through the Legislature that got vetoed. Let’s put it this way: the average lobbyist’s session last 140 days; mine lasts 160, if you get my drift.

Most of the stuff that I cared about and Governors vetoed were, to be fair, questionable on a pure public policy basis. Governor Bush vetoed two early in the session – and I BEGGED Laney and Bullock to recognize the authors for a motion to override – but they blew me off. And they were my friends. If you think back, Governor Perry vetoed something like 70 bills in his first session, which he didn’t attend of participate in.

I’ve been very healthy this session. But normally, everyone gets sick at least once. When you work from 6 am to past midnight, eat poorly, don’t get any exercise, are overwhelmed with stress, sleep with near-strangers who claim that what look like genital warts are just “blemishes,” etc. – it’s gonna catch up with you and you need a nap.

That happened to me when Bush was Governor and I just went home and got in bed in the middle of the afternoon. A client, who shall remain nameless (Eric Craven) called me and said that the deadline for signing or vetoing a bill was RIGHT NOW and I needed to go see the Governor or at least Allbaugh and make sure everything was cool. So I got up, stood in the shower, put my suit back on and went to the Governor’s Office, where I was told that Bush wouldn’t see me. Neither would Allbaugh. But Teral Smith was kind enough to invite me in to announce that Bush was gonna veto the bill. Billy Clyde has zero recollection of what the bill did but is sure it was critically important to electric co-op managers.

Billy Clyde had not intended of talking about co-op managers or genital warts, so let’s re-focus on macro Constitutional Issues.

Two clear themes have emerged this session. One, let’s go to dinner early. Two, legislators have fought to assert legislative authority and are reluctant to grant any new powers to the executive branch. The first trend is good, and the second trend is downright healthy from a public policy perspective. The Executive and Legislative branch are SUPPOSED to tussle.

Over the past few sessions, an ex post facto strategy has developed whereby people don’t participate in the process and sue after the fact to strike down an act. I don’t like that. There’s also a lot of “reading legislative intent” into the record, that agencies – though not courts – for some reason take seriously. Statements of legislative intent have slightly more authority than a kindergartener’s drawing that you stick on the refrigerator but less authority than an Executive Order – whatever that means – or an Attorney General’s Opinion, which judges often use as toilet paper.

Here’s a quick and dirty summary of the pros-and-cons of HJR 59:

PRO: The Governor can let the clock run out, veto a bill that had overwhelming legislative support, and there’s not a damn thing House and Senate members can do about it.

CON: The Governor gets blamed for everything that goes wrong – even though he doesn’t get much say in the process. At least let him veto the really horrible stuff without having to do battle with the Legislature once again.

Of course, one of the beauties of a proposed Constitutional Amendment is that, when adopted by at least two thirds of each chamber, it gets filed with the Secretary of State and is placed on the ballot. The absolute most a Governor can do is hang out with the masses at polling joint, vote against it and affix one of those “I VOTED” stickers on his lapel.

Billy Clyde freely admits that his mind works in an odd fashion. Instead of looking at the prospective “good” outcomes or “bad” outcomes, he often crafts strange chaotic scenarios that might result from a piece of legislation. Because – let’s face it – when it happens every single session, on multiple occasions, over and over and over again ... that’s not paranoia or idle speculation. It’s fact.

Will these special veto override sessions become, basically, a second bite of the apple? Will big money – no, not the $1,000 PAC checks but the REAL dough – play a role in what gets taken up and what doesn’t? Will a main gubernatorial strategy be to build a 50-member House base or 11-member Senate core to prevent overrides? Does this proposed amendment actually permit the Governor to, well, govern, with a 33.3 percent support base in the Legislature?

I have no idea. But if you do, come find me in the House gallery tomorrow. This, my cousins, is history in the making.

WHY VOTE WHEN YOU CAN JUST RUN THE GOVERNMENT?

Billy Clyde has a hard-and-fast rule against commenting on national political stuff. Mainly because he knows as much about U.S. politics as he knows about soccer. But this has enough of a Texas angle to pass the BC Test.

The Sunday morning clips brought us several stories about our learned lawmakers moving up the primary date so that us Texans can better compete with Iowa hog farmers, grumpy New Hampshire white people and Nevada blackjack dealers. Billy Clyde has exactly zero interest in this subject, except to point out that the Legislature has been a tad schizo on this front.

A few sessions ago, the House approved a bill by Austin’s own Sheri Greenberg that would move the primary to, if I recall, May. The bill cleared Senate committee and reached the floor, where some brutally honest debate in that chamber ensued.

Several Senators got up and pointed out, right there in front of God and everyone, that a May primary would give potential challengers more time to organize, raise funds, campaign and perhaps even beat incumbents. Senators started thinking – and flaking. I love it when that happens.

Because the Senate by tradition and for practical reasons has to operate on basically a unanimous-consent basis, Senators always feel odd when they have to reverse course when a bill hits the floor. So on those rare occasions when actual debate moves a Senator to start reconsidering his or her position, the conflicted Senator feels an obligation to announce that, while his or her word is generally the gold standard that you can take to the bank, mark down in ink, carve in stone, etc. ... well, for today only, I am flaking. It may confuse the pediatric nurses and the Liberty High School debate team in the gallery, but Billy Clyde finds it endearing.

Honesty and integrity are not lost values in the East Chamber. When a Senator lies, they tell the world. They just shout it out. Good for them.

Anyway, the bill died right there on the floor. That happens every few sessions.

The reason Texas has a March primary is because Senator Chet Edwards was part of a group of Southern legislators who apparently got to visiting at a hotel bar one night during some conference and decided to create Super Tuesday so that presidential candidates would not simply pander to Iowa pig farmers and New Hampshire hardware stores owners but also to North Carolina tobacco farmers, Texas oilmen and Mississippi plaintiff lawyers.

It made a lot of sense at the time – I mean, who DOESN’T want presidential candidates pandering to them – and the bill passed and state legislators decided to become Presidential Power Players.

Representative Tom Craddick organized the Republicans and all but one or two of them came out for Vice President George H.W. Bush. Granted, it was not a particularly risky position to take, since Bush was already predestined to win Texas. But it represented more actual Capitol presidential action since Governor Shivers endorsed General Eisenhower because of the tidelands issue in 1952.

The Democrats did their part, too. Speaker Lewis came out strong for this obscure Senator from Tennessee who recently won an Academy Award for some porn flick he made – or something like that. Representative Rick Perry, whose nose was rarely more than a few inches behind the Speaker’s butt and who REALLY wanted to be Calendars Chairman, quickly followed suit and claimed to run a lot of the day-to-day Gore operation in Austin. Representative Hugo Berlanga, whose nose was rarely more than a few centimeters behind the Speaker’s butt and who wanted Calendars every bit as much as Perry (and actually got it in the end) also signed up with Gore.

A few of the Speaker’s key chairman, in a fairly gratuitous move designed to demonstrate that they had no interest in what Gib’s butt smelled like, signed up with an obscure red-headed Congressman from Missouri. If I remember correctly, Representatives Pete Laney, Bruce Gibson, Stan Schlueter and others flew around the state campaigning for Gephardt in a brave show of independence.

Meanwhile, newly elected Railroad Commissioner John Sharp took another tact that caused his friends to speculate that he was completely off his rocker and went out and endorsed and campaigned – in a big way – for some really short, boring, obscure Massachusetts governor, who actually won the nomination. Proving once again that Sharp is pretty good at the politics deal.

None of this really matters, because (1) the race was over before (not-so) Super Tuesday and (2) Bush, as expected, won Texas without lifting a finger. Let’s face it: if an unknown welder from Matagorda County named Nasty Dripping Skanky Bush put his name on the presidential ballot, he would win Texas.

Texas has played a role in exactly zero presidential primaries in Billy Clyde’s brief lifetime and just one general election (Humphrey vs. Nixon in ‘68.) Jacking around with the primary dates won’t change things.

Texans should just continue to write checks and raise money and then assume our roles in the Cabinet and run things like we’ve always done.

RP WENT TO THE UAB WHILE A&M HEADS TO NCAA AND HPV, TYC, TXU, WDB, TTC, SxSW, THC, TWP, ERCOT ALL GET GROOVE ON

When you have a funny feeling about something, best bet is to stick with your gut.

Billy Clyde contemplated taking himself a Spring Break this week. Maybe a quick jaunt over to Dubia or Qatar – hell, maybe even South Padre Island or Lake Fork – and return fresh for the upcoming grueling part of the legislative session.

But fool me once, shame on someone. Fool me twice, shame on either that same someone or maybe someone else or maybe even me. So BC hung around campus all week to listen to the dirty, vile, sex debate taking place in our Capitol, and hindsight shows that was a wise choice.

BC would betcha dollar to a glazed doughnut hole that he’s told the Honorable Rick Perry, the current Governor (really!; he is!; look it up) about the time he took a long weekend exploring Galveston’s deep blue seas at the swim-up bar at the San Luis Hotel while he SHOULDA been bird-dogging the General Services Commission sunset bill. Senate sponsor Bobby Joe Glasgow swore up and done that BC’s two sentences were fine and, because Glasgow could be flaky, BC got the same commitment from Senators Barrientos and Ike “O.H.” Harris. And yet the Monday morning packet showed that the two sentences were removed on Friday afternoon by an amendment offered by Gonzalo and accepted by Glasgow and voted for by O.H.

Lesson learned.

Fortunately, Senator E.B. Johnson found a provision tucked in the bill that granted Bubba Steen enhanced law enforcement retirement benefits and she filibustered it to death on the closing weekend and I got what is referred to in parliamentary parlance as a “do-over.” Don’t remember what Eddie Bernice’s problem was with Bubba, who did have a highly dangerous job as GSC executive director, but it saved Billy Clyde’s butt.

(Full disclosure: This post is totally true.)

Even more fortunately, Representative Wolens read the entire bill the next morning as we started the special session and found TONS of stuff way more offensive than Bubba’s stuff or Billy Clyde’s language (which I told everyone was actually John Sharp’s language, a claim that had a healthy grain of non-lie in it). So by the time Wolens exposed all the goodies for legislators’ half-wit cousins buried in the conference report and a fresh bill was produced, the Billy Clyde (excuse me, I mean Sharp) provision was looking like it came straight from Common Cause.

The point is: Governor Perry went half the way around the globe at precisely the time that the Legislature had decided to re-assert legislative supremacy in what, in our little community, can be loosely considered a major constitutional separation of powers debate on a number of fronts. Although, to the Governor’s credit, if you read the crayon coloring on the stall and realize the envelope is being pushed back your direction, maybe eight days on Infidel Island beats the snot out of slogging through losing battles in your very own Capitol.

But just as the Legislature should try to stake its ground, the Chief Executive should try to stake his. Preferably from a Western Hemispheric base.

People who brush off Rick Perry as just being lucky forget the old truism: you make your own luck. But Governor – and I say this as someone who honestly wants you to succeed – please call Cliff and get him back on the payroll. Now.



UPDATE: Some good points received, some good points granted. And yes, I do have examples:

1) If the pre-teen anti-cancer slut drug was so important, why not tell Albert to put it on the list in August or September? Same outcome.

2) If you believe that innovative private investment is the only sound way to play catch-up on transportation (and that could very well be correct), why let Chairman Williamson become such a lightening rod that the policy discussion gets lost in the personality disputes? And make Krusse catch so much crap? Name another guy, then appoint Williamson your chief of staff this summer. Is there no irony or cleverness left in this building?

3) If the agency in charge of housing delinquent youths turns out to being sexually assaultive on a regular basis with those students/inmates (studmates?), why not take really drastic action at once? Can’t hurt nothing. I am fairly certain, without even reviewing polling data, that state-sanctioned youth rape and assault is not a winning political issue.

4) If there’s an impending crisis about electric availability, why not be an advocate for massive new transmission capacity and punt the generation stuff to the PUC? Win-win situations are good.

5) Two words: Courthouse Restoration. Billy Clyde has no idea if any more need restoring, but people love that shit. In the alternative, three words: Main Street Restoration.

6) Texas is a long way from running out of water. But get out there and act like you care. Conservation (i.e.: don’t run sprinklers during a gully washer) and minimal water development bond authority (say, enough that President Bush gives Texas a 200-fold-match before he leaves office) will make you look like the water sage.

Just some thoughts.

STALK TO ME, BABY

Today was just wonderful.

My fancy alarm clock went off this morning to the cheerful voices of both Sam and Bob, back together again after a week of absolute turmoil that shook Austin to its core. Some narrow-minded people objected to an off-the-cuff remark Sammy Allred made about Joe Biden, the African-American Senator from Delaware and ... well you know the story.

The sissies at KVET gave Sammy – he of Geezinslaw fame – one week of D-Hall, then let him have his mic back. Having been cleared of the racial accusations, Sammy celebrated by playing his hit song "Help, I’m White and I Can’t Get Down" – widely regarded as the best country rap song of all time. Billy Clyde hasn't felt so good at 7 am in a long, long time. The earth is back on its axis.

If anyone wants 100-percent genuine guaranteed proof that the average American has the short-term historical perspective of a guppy, consider this: After kicking Sammy off the air for a remark that requires quite a stretch to be considered racist, they replaced him with (drum roll please) Kinky Friedman. Is Billy Clyde the only bloke in town who found a bit of irony in this?

The few people who went to the Capitol today also seemed to be in a good mood. It didn’t seem like the 60th Day. The practice of just closing up shop or placing a "Gone Fishing" sign on the door is nothing new. But Representative Jim Keffer and Representative Charlie Geren warrant special recognition for their clever signs posted today.

Geren’s office had a sign with arrows pointing in all directions encircling the words: "DROP BLUEBACKS OFF HERE". It would be funnier if BC knew how to do visual stuff on this blog. But trust me.

Keffer managed to one-up him. His sign read:

I’M SORRY
IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S ME
WE’RE NOT FILING YOUR BILL

The new members could take a lesson from Geren and Keffer and learn that you can be a serious legislator without getting your panties all wadded up.

There was free catfish in Chairman H. Ray Hilderbran’s office. Hmm. Billy Clyde was pretty certain that his personal Lord and Savior was looking down on him in a kindly fashion today. "But wait, there’s MORE!" as the UHF ads says.

As Billy Clyde was exiting the Capitol, one of his oldest and dearest friends – now a superstar power broker and mega-lobbyist – who wishes to remain anonymous (Ellen Williams) told me that one of her clients (or maybe just friends, I wasn’t listening carefully at first) reads this blog and, on that basis of that alone, has a crush on me.

Now when Billy Clyde overcame his rather rudimentary technological skills and actually launched this deal, he considered the ramifications: political alienation; career destruction; public scorn; libel suits; etc. But never, in BC’s wildest dreams (even those really really good dreams) did he think that writing this idiotic blog would result in sultry vixens having schoolgirl fantasies about The Man, The Legend, Billy Clyde.

Totally unbeknownst to me, Ellen was in the cafeteria earlier this week with her friend, the chick who runs the Billy Clyde Fan Club, and pointed me out to her. So finally, after years and years of simply dreaming the impossible dream, I have my very own stalker.

Did I mention that today was wonderful?

---

UPDATE: I was sitting around visiting with a VERY high-ranking Senate aide yesterday (let's just call her LC) and we were trading 60th-day stories and shooting the breeze. She told me that the Governor was actually out doing some 60th-day shopping for, get ready for this, selling the lottery.

---

I didn't think much about this until I saw in the local daily today (Saturday) that Representative Dennis Bonnen had filed HB 3937, a bill to be entitled an act relating to selling the lottery. Bonnen, who is one of the good guys, didn't exactly give the proposal a ringing endorsement. But it showed that he is polite, courteous, accommodating, process-oriented, open-minded and kind. We need more of that stuff.

---

Anyway, I think even the most casual observer would acknowledge that selling the lottery is a pretty big deal. And not likely to happen in the next 80 days.

---

I guess the really illustrative part is that even important people -- say, the Governor of the nation's second largest state -- have to spend a little bit of time on the 60th day to find a lawmaker willing to cure cancer.

IF IT WEREN'T FOR CLIENTS AND THE INTERNET, LOBBYING WOULD BE FUN

Been getting stopped several times a day lately at the Capitol by people complaining that there has been little new content -- "posting" is the technical blogger jargon -- in the past week or so.

Folks, if you are THAT desperate for mindless entertainment, buy a pet monkey.

Billy Clyde started this deal for his own amusement. If you want to join in, well, the more the merrier. But with all due respect to my friends -- and I consider everyone a friend -- GET. OFF. MY. ASS.

Sorry for that nasty outburst. My bad. Let's talk a little about the Texas Legislature, the world's greatest deliberative democratic institution and currently the leading source of deforestation on the planet.

The week leading up to the 60th day of the session always puts me in a foul mood. I know it's sort of a fake deadline, but BC likes to play along ... because he's a stickler for the rules. If the posted speed is 65, I drive 64. Just to be on the safe side. No one can accuse me of being an anarchist.

When we get close to the 60th day, people are scurrying around like a rattler with its head cut off. Paper is flying. Thanks to these Internet Web Machines that are downright ubiquitous these days, everyone from the assistant volleyball coach in Willis to the paranoid banking mogul in El Paso can read these newly filed bills. They find one they hate (read: don't understand) and immediately phone their elected officials in Austin and want to give the REALLY LONG version of why some obscure piece of legislation that won't even be referred for a week or two has already cost them their retirement and killed their pets and is responsible for the drought. Can a locus infestation of Biblical proportion be far behind?

Typical conservation:

HYPERVENTILATING CONSTITUENT: Representative Smedley, why would you do this to me?

HOUSE MEMBER SMEDLEY: What did I do to you?

HC: House Bill 4938. Don't be coy with me! You wrote it, and I take personal offense.

HMS: I've never written a bill before. What does it do?

HC: The actual legislation PURPORTS to regulate pesticides at Texas wineries. But that part in SECTION 17, amending Article 2183(c)(A)(3), will shut down the proposed new exit that would feed into the property I inherited from my Uncle Ernie -- may he rest in peace -- and would kill my plans to build that that convenience store/pool hall/bait and tackle shop that I've dreamed about since I was a tyke. You know that.

HMS: Have I met you?

HC: Not formally. But quit trying to dodge the issue like all you Austin politicians do.

You get the point.

Now paid advocates -- who, contrary to public belief, are also human being persons -- face the same kind of nonsense. A presumably sophisticated client can turn into a flaming moron when he is permitted to read bills. Which, I may add, he has no business doing unless his lobbyist sends it to him.

Here's how it works. The client is in a foul mood because he had a flat tire on the way to work and a thunderstorm cancelled his golf game and the attractive young secretary who he just hired and who can't type, make a copy, send a fax or master the primitive six-line phone system is menstruating heavily. So, bored, he gets on the Information Superhighway and starts reading bills. It takes a while, but he finds one egregious enough -- in his own bird brain -- for him to phone up his asleep-at-the-switch lobbyist.

The client rants and raves and curses and complains and repeats himself over and over and invokes patriotic stuff and then finally, after about an hour, give you the bottom line: If the Legislature requires Texas-based third party administrators for off-shore reinsurance companies to be free of murder convictions, then the state's economy will be RUINED.

"I've suspected they would pull this power play one day," the client says. "All the high-paying TPA jobs will move to the Cayman Islands and the Texas economy will collapse."

The paid advocate -- who's been staring out the window and subconsciously calculating the number of sidewalk pedestrians carrying Starbucks cups (about half) and hasn't listened to anything this guy has said whatsoever-- suddenly hears this part and has a revelation:

Wonder what it takes to get a third party administrator license in the Cayman Islands? Cuz it sounds like a good gig to me.

IF YOU'RE LOOKING TO GET CHEERED UP, THIS IS NOT YOUR PLACE

As a country conservative right-winger, I should probably just shut up. But Representative John Smithee is a country conservative and he has good sense, so I'm following his lead.

Chairman Smithee got on the mic yesterday and said, basically, let's think about this. That's considered wild in the modern legislating community.

The heart of this House debate was about Representative Debbie Riddle's bill about getting tough on child molesters. I am for this bill and hate child molesters. Glad to get that policy statement off my chest.

Representative Smithee had the nuts (some people call it "guts") to stand up and say that the House was considering a rather imperfect bill. Different people have different ideas. But I know that when John Smithee stands up and says something, it matters. Mainly because he's the smartest member of the House and uses the front mic judiciously and knows what he's talking about and is universally thought of as an honest broker. As far as I know, Chairman Smithee is also kind to his wife and kids and pets.

Anyway, he gave a speech yesterday that basically shut down the House. Not because he philosophically disagreed; because he actually read it the bill.

No longer will I support the death penalty. In any shape or form. Because is scares me.

What if I'm wrong?

If I change my left rear tire when I shoulda changed my left front tire, that presents a problem. If I sanction the legal killing of a person who or may not be guilty, well ... that can weigh on you.

My high school friend Misty moved to Austin and got killed. I went to court and testified during the punishment phase that the no-good rapist murdering bastard should die -- and die now. The state eventually killed him and I'm glad. But no mas.

It's not than I'm anti-capital punishment. It's just that someone higher up the food chain -- say, God -- oughta make those decisions.

GOVERNORS AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE (OR AT LEAST SINCE 1963)

How Billy Clyde missed this he cannot fathom. But as I read the actual print version of the newspaper this evening, I ran across reporter Gardner Selby's feature on Representative Brian McCall's doctoral dissertation about Texas governors.

This excites me, in an HPV way, on SOOOO many levels.

First, Garnder Selby doesn't excite me at all. When I first met him about 15 years ago, he looked like he was 16. Now that he's about 50, he looks like he's about 15. Dude, that shit ain't fair. But he's a good reporter and writer.

His story was about McCall's paper on governors. Billy Clyde more than likely will not sleep tonight because he can't wait for Representative McCall's office to open and permit me to request a copy. This gives me an actual reason to show up at the Capitol this week -- that, and the four bills in three different committees I'm working on that are posted for Tuesday. But that's not important.

BC hearts certain things: pine trees, college basketball, eggs, smart women, golf, funny novels ... but this post is about Texas Governors. Put me down in the fascinated category.

I'll do a real review after reading the dissertation. But here's my take on what Selby wrote:

JOHN CONNALLY: What can you say. He was the Barack Obama of his day. Brilliant, savvy, clever .. just the best.

PRESTON SMITH: Seems to be criticized for being too political, but his politics were awful damn good. When he won, he rewarded. When he lost, he plotted his next race. He also made Texas a better place to live.

DOLPH BRISCOE: BC really wants to read this part of Brian's dissertation before commenting too much. Selby leaves the impression that Briscoe was a detached "caretaker" who didn't come to the office much. My impression has been that Governor Briscoe, while not an "office hound," did a lot of really good things for the state. If he's crazy, he's crazy like a fox. The only reason I show up for Former Member Day is to visit with Mr. Briscoe. He's great.

BILL CLEMENTS: BC wasn't around during Governor Clements' first term, because BC was too busy going to junior and high school. But I got to work for him during the second (and I think he would freely acknowledged not his most engaged) term and believe that he maybe had as good of instincts as any of them. Conservative, pragmatic, deal-oriented .. a real Texas success story. Please read Carolyn Barta's book about him.

MARK WHITE: People made fun of Marco Blanco (aka Media Mark) and said being Governor was just a stepping stone for him. Well, pissing off school teachers and coaches, raising taxes, and permitting racetrack betting weren't particularly consensus issues. He did right for the right reasons.

ANN RICHARDS: Selby says that McCall says that talk about Bob Bullock is off the table. When I worked for Mr. Bullock in 1994 Governor Richards told her staff not to talk to me, because I was a George W. Bush's plant. Totally untrue. (a) I didn't know Bush well enough to be his plant; (b) Sibley had already staked out the plant role; and (c) I was too scared of Bullock to be a part of some Machiavellian scheme. Governor Richards was never anything but kind to me, and we became regular breakfast partners after she left office. I wish I had visited with her one last time.

GEORGE W. BUSH: One of the strangest things I have ever witnessed. In 1990, I stalked him at a Dallas dinner to find out if he was running for Governor (full disclosure: I was working for another guy in the race). His speech was pitiful. Then, four years later, I was minding my own business and cooking fajitas for a State Representative's local fund-gathering party and Bush shows up and gives the absolute best speech you could give in a FM1960 strip center parking lot. I was floored. He's the best I've seen. A lot of people, I understand, aren't that hot on him these days in his new job. Betcha anything it's the Iraq War deal and all the spending he let slide through.

My harsh critics may say, "Billy Clyde, you have nice things to say about all these modern governors. They come from different parts of the state, different parties, different political ideologies. What the hell are you saying?"

Fair enough. My answer, simply, would be that they all good people and good servants and served the state well. Few, if any, states have been so blessed.

Thank you Representative McCall. This will be be the first (and almost certainly last) dissertation, that I read. And I am psyched.

WE LOOK AT SUNDAY MORNING TV AND PAPERS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO; YOU'RE WELCOME

Most of Billy Clyde's tribe was attending church or running marathons this morning. Not to worry. I'll fill you in on what you missed.

Our Governor and the Pennsylvania Governor, Ed Rendell, went on the chat show today hosted by Mike Wallace's boy. Both performed very well, but the main topic was ... yeah, you guessed it: 11-year-old cervixes. People, enough already!

In an effort to steer the public policy dialogue back to a REAL issue, Billy Clyde suggests you check out former Lieutenant Governor Bill Hobby's op-ed in today's Houston Chronicle, available at www.chron.com for those of you with Internet access.

Governor Hobby takes a couple of fairly nasty gratuitous shots at Governor Perry. Maybe they've had long conservations about higher ed special item funding and the pro-special item folks decided that the only way to get Perry's attention was to plant an op-ed piece written by Hobby, for whom I have enormous respect. I mean, the guy did serve as Lieutenant Governor longer than anyone in Texas history. More importantly, he did a stint as Senate Parliarmentarian, the toughest job in state government and one that deserves compensation on par with the head football coach at TAMU.

Two things popped into my mind while reading Governor Hobby's article.

One, he claimed that Governor James "Pa" Ferguson was impeached because he vetoed the UT budget. Everything I have ever read or heard suggests that it was because he was shamelessly selling pardons and doing other crooked stuff. But since Hobby's daddy succeeded Governor Ferguson, he probably knows better than me.

The second is how odd it is that the Ferguson family and Hobby family -- as different, to put it mildly, as they are -- both produced trail-blazing women. Pa Ferguson's wife, Ma Ferguson, was Texas' first woman Governor. Big Bill Hobby's wife, Ovetta Culp Hobby, was the nation's first female Cabinet Secretary during the administration of President Dwight D. Eisenhower, who was born in Grayson County.

Okay, I got sidetracked.

Little Bill Hobby wrote in his op-ed that Governors shouldn't micromanage universities and thus the all-or-nothing bill patterns in the General Appropriations Act are good things. Perry, as you may have heard, disagrees.

The reason the Legislature bundles these appropriation measures is because Governor William P. Clements vetoed a bunch of them a while back. Of the roughly 50 people Governor Clements consulted, roughly 49 of them said FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T VETO THAT STUFF. So, natch, he sided with Bob Davis and struck them out of the budget.

Hobby then struck back by instructing Senator Bobby Joe Glasgow to, in essence, lump it all together and make it basically unvetoable. Even Clements wouldn't strike out a whole college -- mainly because he was vacationing in New Mexico and everything was auto-penned.

Now Governor Perry doesn't have a vacation spot in New Mexico, he thrives on vetoing stuff, and he absolutely LUVS calling special sessions. So this needs to get worked out.

Otherwise, it will be yet another defeat for my main legislative cause: restoring the word "summer" to a verb.

BUCK FUDDIES

One of my oldest friends allegedly coaches football, girls golf, and teaches a history class. That means he stays on the Internet all day on the Tomball ISD dime's and sends me stuff. Including Austin newscast segments.

Billy Clyde doesn't watch the local news -- except during serious weather calamities -- but has a sneaking suspicion that this is Sweeps Week. The local NBC affiliate produced a story a few days ago about "Friends With Benefits." It seems this is what they call buck fruddies these days.
http://www.kxan.com/Global/category.asp?C=65569

The story is awful. But in a period in which Britney Spears, Anna Nicole Smith and Rick Perry are considered legitimate news, then I guess anything goes. Governor Perry actually came out for curing cancer, and it resulted in some hard-right social conservative testifying before Chairman Dianne White Delisi's committee about the evils of "teenage sluts." Huh?

BC must have entered the wrong concourse last week. He was booked on a return flight to Planet Earth.

I can recall sexual innuendo in committee hearings before. Don't specifically remember which chairman (I think it was Bob McFarland) who scheduled the homo bill on the same day as the cock fighting legislation. But that was the sorta deal that required you to look at the posting and get the inside joke. Teenage slut testimony would have been WAY out of bounds.

If you think I'm heading somewhere here -- you know, like getting to a point -- well, you would be sadly mistaken. Just wanted my fellow Texans to know that you can air "serious" stories about buck fuddies on prime time news shows and show up at committee hearings and drone on about teenage sluts and, best I can tell, no when even notices.

Now that I'm at a total dead end, I guess BC owes his special friend, who shall remain nameless (Machree) an update on the week's activities so she can cut and paste it and send it out and beat the Friday afternoon traffic. So here it goes.

SENATE:
According to our local paper of record, the Lieutenant Governor held a news conference yesterday to say that the Senate was not only breaking a sweat, but was in constant need of iced towels. I really appreciate Governor Dewhurst for clearing that up, because it shot down my conspiracy theory that one Senator (Averitt) and one Senate employee (KCD) were basically running the show for their own amusement. Senator Brimer seems to be working on some stuff, too.

HOUSE:
Billy Clyde posted on the subject a few days ago and remains stumped. Surely a large contingency of House members wouldn't be stirring things up simply to upset the applecart. Who would voluntarily enter public service with little pay and no glory just to screw up the process? No one I know.

That takes care of Hot Tub news for the week. Y'all come back now. Hear?

ADOPTING A RESOLUTION; MAKING AN APPROPRIATION; CREATING PENALTIES

It used to be that there were two complicated things Billy Clyde actually understood.

Not gonna fake it any longer. I freely admit I know absolutely nothing about the legislative procedure. But I remain well-versed on the intricacies of the infield-fly rule, so I still got that going for me.

What the hell was all that stuff that went down in the House today? Have House members unionized and now get paid by the hour? Adopting a SCR that everyone acknowledged would be adopted -- whether today or in April -- shouldn't really burn up an entire Tuesday. Strange days indeed; most peculiar momma.

Before BC gets all critical about the House, it's only fair to point out the good news. The People's Chamber has done an outstanding job of reading and referring bills in a timely manner to the appropriate committees, which never meet. So it's not a total meltdown.

I found myself sitting in the House gallery today -- something I rarely do since the invention of Capitol's closed-circuit television network. And I don't usually watch that except to listen to the announcements. But I was really really busy this morning and had a mammoth to-do list. Which I finished by lunchtime. Because BC is terribly efficient, he did everything he had to do and faced this decision: go to the cafeteria and visit with people, go to the House lobby and visit with people, or go to the gallery and visit with people. Due to my superior time-management skills, I did all three.

The gallery part is the focus of this post. Chairman Chisum had this procedural resolution he presented the House. Representative Eiland wasn't big on the resolution. So they debated. Normally a good thing. Debate is healthy in the democratic process, and Chisum and Eiland are two of the best at the mic. They both know their stuff.

But calling this routine debate is like calling The Masters "hitting the links" or The Road To The Final Four a "pick-up game." Billy Clyde cannot recall off the top of his head what the Lincoln-Douglas debates were about, but he's fairly certain they didn't last this long.

I asked three really smart people -- all former House members -- to please explain why internal procedural matters that in the past just sorta pass on their own without anyone really knowing or caring now take up a full day. All three of the smart persons told me "primaries." I nodded my head like I understood perfectly, but I didn't.

So I found a fourth smart person, and asked her about "primaries." She kindly explained that the primary elections in which voters select the party nominees are a concern for many members on all sides of the pie. Now that makes sense. Not in a big-picture way, but BC knows about primary elections. He's personally voted in them.

Maybe the smartest guy I talked to said that several members turned down chairmanships because of their fear about this primary thing. I asked a straightforward question: Since when did holding a leadership position and exerting influence over the process for the benefit of your constituents become a liability? He replied that he hadn't looked at it in those terms and owned up to the fact that this Session is confusing.

So it's not just Billy Clyde. That makes me feel better.

P.S. Remember when a big part of the legislative process was scrubbing bills? You'd sit down with the committee report and look over the posting times and hearing times and room numbers and witness lists and the minutes and the bill analyses and search for potential parliamentary problems. Then you'd give to to a buddy, so a fresh set of eyeballs could review it. If necessary, you gave it to Legislative Council for further scrubbing. All in the hopes that you had a clean committee report that couldn't be taken down by a point of order.

Doesn't seem like that happens any more.

NORTHERN MEXICO: WHERE THE HONEST POLITICIANS LIVE

Quick quiz:

Which one do you think is the tough South Texas sheriff and which is the Hollywood mover and shaker?


WRONG!

The guy on the left is some sort of Tinsel Town mogul. And the guy on the right is the Willacy County Sheriff who doesn't have office privileges and is camping out on the courthouse lawn and threatening to make crime legal in the greater Raymondville area if they don't give him back his phone.

This is true. I swear. The actor-director-producer guy is planning a made-for-teevee-movie (NOT a joke) about this. And it's far from reaching it's real-time zenith.

(editors note: Before Billy Clyde live-blogs the following story, he would like you to know that he is NOT picking on Hidalgo and Willacy counties -- two of his favorites. He also picks on Cameron, like the deal about the escapees from the jail a few months ago when the sheriff and his deputies (several of them also fled to Mexico) let murder suspects "escape" and go to the PRM, my favorite county.

BC would also link you to the story from the McAllen Monitor about the District Clerk who has been on the lam for a good while and was extradited back to the USA yesterday to face charges on his corruption and sexual assault charges -- except the Monitor site doesn't seem to be hospitable to cut-and-paste links. But the following VMN story is good enough, for now.)

http://www.valleymorningstar.com/onset?id=240&template=article.html

RAYMONDVILLE - District Attorney Juan Angel Guerra said Friday that he will request law enforcement agencies re-file as many as 500 criminal cases or he will dismiss them. (One or the other. I like the flip-a-coin method of ruining people's lives.)

As Guerra camped for the fifth day in front of the Willacy County Jail, a Hollywood actor who wants to produce a film based on Guerra's life began the second day of a hunger strike in protest of Guerra's Sunday arrest. (No comment necessary. Just dream.)

Meanwhile, in court, a state district judge accepted Guerra's request to dismiss his motion to remove state District Judge Migdalia Lopez from hearing several cases. (So he grants the motion to dismiss and recuse. If I read that correctly. That should make the underlying case moot. But I'm probably being a simpleton.)

In a motor home parked in front of the Willacy County Jail, Guerra stunned local law enforcement agencies when he requested that they re-file 400 to 500 pending criminal cases in his office. (What? Are these Spring Break minor-in-possession cases or something? This is a very small county that is divided into three equal parts: those who work for the school district, those who work for the county, and those who work for the roughly 27,000 municipalities and WCIDs in this county of maybe 15,000.)

Guerra claimed special prosecutor Gus Garza, the former district attorney who headed the investigation that led to Guerra's arrest, "contaminated" case files because he serves as a defense attorney who handles many of the cases. (He said; she said.)

"These cases have been tainted and I can't move forward," Guerra said. "We want to open new files so I can have confidence that those new files were not tainted." (I look forward to prosecuting a new batch of my political enemies.)

Guerra said he will determine the length of time law enforcement agencies will get to re-file their cases. "If, for instance, I give them four months to re-file, and they haven't, I have no choice but to dismiss," Guerra said. (Dude, if your hands are tied, your hands are tied.)

Sheriff Larry Spence said he would re-file his cases, but the work would strain his small staff.
"I haven't heard of anything like this before," Spence said. "I don't think it's realistic to ask to do that, but I'm not saying it can't be done. If that's the way it's going to be, that's the way it's going to be." (Sure. Play the naivete card. Who, in this day and age, hasn't had a local District Attorney thrown out of office by an acting special prosecutor who has his own cases thrown out by a District Judge who is then removed from office and cannot accept cases because of his own ethical problems but can reinstate the sheriff if only the defense bar would permit it. All this while the sheriff and and a movie star threaten to make a Lifetime Movie and camp out on the courthouse lawn. I mean, come on. That shit happens everyday.)

Raymondville Police Chief Uvaldo Zamora could not be reached for comment. (Thank God! There are so many characters here already I feel like I'm in a freakin Robert Altman ensemble movie.)

John Blaylock, a defense attorney who ran against Guerra in an election, said the request could further backlog cases, forcing taxpayers to foot the bill for longer jail stays. (Totally objective source plays the tax/crime card . How about this: If these people have to be held in jail because they are gonna abscond to Mexico, isn't just turning them free a win-win deal? ... Also, isn't having a 10th of your population in County Jail a little high?)

It could also force the court to dismiss some criminal cases, he said. (Let that force be with you.)

"It could be a terrible delay," Blaylock said. "Whatever amount of time it takes to re-file, it's that much more time that my client stays in jail. It could be really good for them, because if the cases aren't re-filed quick enough for lack of manpower or other reasons, my client gets off scot-free."
(No. Yes. No. Yes. Uh, yeah, I could set some guys free. So maybe I'm a "yes.")

In court, state District Judge J. Manuel Bañales accepted Guerra's request to dismiss his motion to remove Lopez from hearing several cases. (This is a WAY more complicated sentence than it seems.)

Guerra said he requested Bañales dismiss the motion because he planned to call Lopez as a witness in a Feb. 23 hearing in which Raymondville Municipal Judge Hector "Tiger" Lopez will determine whether authorities have enough evidence to arrest Guerra. (Typical politician. Punt it to Tiger, the part-time muni judge. Who will turn it over to the solid waste handlers ...)

"I didn't want to make that an issue," Guerra said of his request to remove Lopez. (I take you at your word, but I think you are lying. Mainly because you were the styled plaintiff in the action about which "I didn't want to make that an issue." )

Early this month, Guerra said he filed a request to remove Lopez because her alleged call for his investigation allegedly proved bias against him. (Cannot comment. Completely incomprehensible. But man, I want to see these pleadings. Hello, CourtTV.)

Late Thursday, actor Daniel Zacapa arrived at the motor home to begin a hunger strike to protest Guerra's arrest, Zacapa said. (Motor homes = Winter Texans = People Who Don't Like Cold Weather.)

"I will remain here until he returns to his office as a free man," said Zacapa, who's stared in film and television and won a best supporting actor trophy at the American Latino Media Arts awards in 1998. (Unless it's more than a week. Cuz SPI is 30 miles away and it's nice.)

Zacapa said he's producing a film based on Guerra's life. "This is an individual whose parents were migrant farm workers and he became a teacher, a businessman, an attorney and a district attorney," Zacapa said. "It's an American story." (Were I have written that last sentence, I would have inserted an adjective before "American." Like "great" or " classic.")

In front of the Willacy County Jail, Guerra continued to dare Spence to arrest him on a trespassing charge. (Don't Double-Dog Dare him. That would make you an inmate. Not as good as being the local DA. Just wondering: Why would allow him to arrest you? Why don't you just file false articles of information and throw HIS ass in the slammer?)

"I'm going to stay here until they drop the charges or they arrest me," Guerra said.
Sunday, Raymondville police arrested Guerra after he allegedly stopped them from entering his office to execute a search warrant. (Third option: go home or start working on the movie.)

Guerra faces three felony theft charges and a misdemeanor charge that stems from reportedly stopping police from entering his office. (These are NOT serious infractions in the grand scheme of Willacy County politics. This is the county that lost most of its budget in 2005 after its Treasurer acknowledged that he was "not great at math." That's a true quote.)

Monday afternoon, Guerra posted $22,000 bail after he spent the night in jail.
As Garza pursues his ongoing investigation, the threat of a second arrest has left him unable to sleep, Guerra said. (Where are the free samples of Ambien when you need them?)

So he came to the jail "where I can truly sleep," Guerra said. "To relax, I'm here." (Looks like the Ambien rep made his rounds.)

MAJOR BONUS NEWS: This story is actually the most interesting of the Sunday Rio Grande Valley articles. But I simply lack the time to live-blog it. Or learn about the Afi religion. And other reasons. Like going to dinner.

Alex Jones/The Monitor

Omar Guerrero, former Hidalgo County District Clerk and fugitive from justice since early December, ducks past media cameras as he is booked into Mission's city jail early Sunday morning.

More Break Hospital group: FBI investigating suspected fraud Mission homeowner slain after home invasion Man pleads guilty, says he murdered teacher out of anger Former Border Patrol agent accused of sexually assaulting minors County limits a third of its bail bond companies

Break for last seven days Today Saturday Friday Thursday Wednesday Tuesday Monday "Break" By Date A Year Ago Today No stories for this day.

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Omar Guerrero extradited to United States
February 18,2007
Michael Barnett and Kaitlin Bell
Monitor Staff Writers

MISSION — Former Hidalgo County District Clerk Omar Guerrero has been arrested in Mexico and brought back to the United States, Mission police officials announced Saturday night.

Guerrero has been missing since Dec. 6, when authorities issued a warrant for his arrest on charges of sexually assaulting a minor.

Mission police were vague on the details of Guerrero’s arrest in the Mexican border state of Tamaulipas. Mission police chief Leo Longoria confirmed that he had been apprehended in or near Reynosa early Saturday evening and said more details would be available at a Monday afternoon news conference.

The FBI brought Guerrero across the Hidalgo-Reynosa International Bridge about 11:45 p.m. Saturday, Mission police officials said. Guerrero was cooperative with authorities, according to Longoria.

Guerrero was brought to Mission police headquarters for booking about 12:10 a.m. today. He will likely be arraigned Monday afternoon, Mission police spokesman Sgt. Martin Garza said.

Since early December, Mission police and FBI agents have been working many tips about Guerrero’s whereabouts and forwarding them to Mexican authorities. But the events directly leading to Guerrero’s arrest seem to have unfolded only in the last day or two. Longoria said he learned about the capture early Saturday night.

“This was coming,” Longoria said. “We have received information previously that he was in our area of reach, and we’ve been patient.”

In the week following Guerrero’s disappearance, his lawyer, defense attorney Al Alvarez, made several successive promises that Guerrero would turn himself in. But the then-district clerk repeatedly failed to show.

Alvarez, who represents Guerrero in several pending legal cases, did not return a message seeking comment Saturday night.

If convicted of aggravated sexual assault, a first-degree felony, Guerrero faces up to 99 years in prison. Longoria said his department was still mulling whether to charge Guerrero in connection with his flight from the United States.

A HISTORY OF TROUBLE

The sexual assault charges weren’t the first legal problem for the 30-year-old Guerrero, although they seemed to be the last straw that prompted him to flee. His public troubles began in November 2005, when he was arrested on charges of marijuana possession and driving while intoxicated.

Guerrero arrived at a police crime scene to help a friend, who was also charged with possession of marijuana. Although police said Guerrero had showed up red-eyed and slurred his words, the then-district clerk refused a blood test, saying it was against the tenets of Ifa, the ancient African religion he claimed to follow.

In March 2006, Guerrero lost his re-election bid by a landslide to Laura Hinojosa, who took office Jan. 1. Also in March, First National Bank sued him for defaulting on a $17,000 loan. Guerrero later claimed the suit was politically motivated.

He was subsequently arraigned in late September on charges of assaulting his then-wife, Karina. The couple has since divorced, and Karina has legally reverted to her maiden name, Rodriguez. She was awarded sole custody of their young daughter.

Even after Guerrero fled, his financial and legal problems continued to mount. While searching for him at his home in an upscale North McAllen neighborhood, police found what they called “a sizeable amount” of marijuana and cocaine. Lone Star National Bank repossessed the home shortly thereafter.

In late December, Justice of the Peace Mary Alice Palacios, who had clashed with Guerrero during his September arraignment on the assault charges, told media outlets she had requested police protection at her home after hearing from the Hidalgo County Sheriff’s Office that Guerrero had made threats against her. Palacios had refused a request from Guerrero’s lawyer to bar media from the courtroom during the arraignment.

Sheriff Lupe Treviño said at the time he had no credible information about Guerrero having made threats against Palacios.

COMMUNITY REACTION

Guerrero’s troubles have made for plenty of local water cooler gossip.

But news of his impending return Saturday night had his successor, Laura Hinojosa, hoping that public attention will shift to the goals she hopes to accomplish as district clerk.

“I hope for all concerned it’s true so we can just get some closure and move forward,” Hinojosa said late Saturday, before authorities brought Guerrero back to the United States.

La Joya Mayor Billy Leo, one of Guerrero’s early political supporters and himself a former district clerk, is asking what happened to the man who was once a rising political star.

“I didn’t understand why he never gave himself up,” Leo said. “Maybe now he’s having second thoughts.”

Leo, a political powerbroker who is friends with Guerrero’s father, said the younger Guerrero developed a reputation as a hard-working campaigner.

“It’s obvious he isn’t the same guy who was elected,” Leo said. “He was a smart guy. The biggest question is: Where did he go wrong?”

Monitor staff writer Sara Perkins contributed to this report.

Kaitlin Bell covers Mission, western Hidalgo County and general assignments for The Monitor. You can reach her at (956) 683-4446. For this and other local stories visit www.themonitor.com.

Michael Barnett covers law enforcement and general assignments for The Monitor. He can be reached at (956) 683-4447. For this and more local stories, visit www.themonitor.com.