Monday, August 27, 2007





DATE: August 27, 2007

RE: NAU Project

First, congrats on your (as usual) great instincts. You predicted your resignation would be a three-day story, and it turned out to be even less than that!

I assured you that you wouldn’t hear from me while you enjoy your brief vacation and return to the WH to clean out the office. But I wanted to report a few quick items.

Your resignation and our on-going project to establish the North American Union have not been linked in any newspaper or television show to my knowledge. Once again, you were spot on. What little media attention it attracted will be blurred by AG’s resignation announcement this morning. Can’t wait for him to come on board to sort out some of the thornier legal problems that loom. (That hurricane in Mexico sure helped, too. TG reports that the Mexicans aren’t even aware of the North American Union. Canadians are hardly aware that they live in Canada. So it’s all systems go!)

The contractors informed me over the weekend that the temporary bunker in Ingram should be ready for move-in by the time you and Darby are back from Florida. Some concrete contractor in Gillespie County was doing some snooping around, but he’s been taken care of. Nobody knows nothing – just the way you planned it.

Best I can tell, Vicente’s girlfriend's desire for a high-rise condo in Austin has been nipped in the bud. EK found a wonderful spread for them in Comal County, and she seems pleased. If that changes, you may need POTUS to lay down the law. Vicente is a real key to making this deal work.

A sports reporter friend of mine checked on the NFL schedule and the college bowl dates for late December and early January. It looks like the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day will be best for minimal publicity. There’s a big amateur hockey tournament in Canada during that time. And, of course, the Mexicans will be cooking, sleeping and singing. Though I was a little skeptical at first, it seems that operation Hide The Ball Through Shock And Awe looks like a winner.

The only real problems seem to be crazy Web sites (which you can disconnect, right?) and some goofy French-speaking separatists in Canada. Our co-chairmen both have strong ties there and might be needed to put out any fires. WJC used to sleep with Miss Canada 1991, and JAB III has business ties there through Carlye, etc. This is not an immediate concern; just give it some thought and let me know how to proceed.

Everyone has signed off on the Lou Dobbs/Bill O’Reilly “car wreck” plan you proposed. On the weekend conference call, HRC suggested the "accident" is a good idea even if we weren’t planning to spring a new nation-state on the people! She has a great sense of humor and just might get elected. She also mentioned that your attacks on her on the Sunday new show were just what she needed. FT joked with her that he might not even get into the race if they get Geraldo in the car, too.

In summation, if things keep going this smoothly, we could have a new North American nation in place by February. No need to respond to this note. Enjoy your family time.


dmw/p said...

It's about time you posted something. Brilliant, as usual. I wondered what that black helicopter was doing running the route of the proposed Trans-Texas Corridor.

lush said...

Ah. That is good, good stuff, Billy Clyde. Pure comedy gold.

texxasredd said...

Welcome back, you magnificent bastard!

Ida said...

Weigh in, BC, oh please? What about the Speaker race (if there is one)? Dallas indictments? Primary challenges? Come back to the 5 and Dime, Billy Clyde? (And have you heard about the prospect of a Charlie Wilson endowed chair at the U of T?)

IJ Reilly said...

When you don't post, you make my heart hurt.

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Anonymous said...

Great Article, Billy!

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Anonymous said...

How true, how true, and yet so sad!!